It is hard to fall inlove again after being hurt. Just like me after the heartache I lost interest to be in love again because its hard for me to recover when i lost my love one. The most hurtful part of me when I think i already found my right man and give my everything to him. When he knows that I am pregnant He went to Manila and don’t even care what would happen to me and to our baby.
But i never lose hope, I will raise my baby alone. I will prefer to be called single parent than a murderer of own baby. I continue my studies and work part time so I can have money during my delivery. Fortunately I earned more than enough and my baby now is already one year old last Dec.21 2007.
My mom told me that I should focus my attention for my future and to my daughter too. She wants me to enjoy my life despite what happen to me. I still spend my night crying because I disobey God and neglect his beautiful plans for me. I destroy my life testimonies being a Christian. God Knows how sorry i am and know how weak i am.
I am working now and enjoying every minute of it. I thought i was that happy and nothing is lacking and I thought past never hurt how wrong i was. I was in the mall and find lovers happy together I realize that something missing in my life, it doesn’t mean that I wanted to have a fling2 relationship. Of course women need security and someone who will love them and of course i am just like any woman around wanted to love and be loved.
I always ask God that He will give me someone who can accept me, accept my baby and most of all a Christian so that we can have a clean, healthy and long lasting relationships.
One day as i view my page on dateinasia ( frustrated tlga ano? kahit anong dating online meron account) I met this guy name Richard he was so lovely and nice ( na naman?? lgi ka nmn naloloko ng nice and kind people eh) I enjoy talking to him, he was the only Man i met online who never asked for a Webcam we chat for long time and we are now on our way to be the best cyberlover. He calls me Momma and I called him Daddy too, everyday we talked, share common topic like family, money and favorite movies and song. He likes To the Moon and Back song by Savage Garden mine is Immortality of Celine Dion. I answered him that his favorite song is nice love song not knowing what type is song is that. Luckily, to the moon and back song is really a nice love song.
I would fly to the moon and back if
Youll be
If youll be my baby
Got a ticket for a world where we
Belong
So would you be my baby
I asked him how many children He wants. He only answer me that he don’t like children. Because of that it take a long time before I admit to him that i am single parent (not a single mother, mother is always single anyway) but I am surprise that still he wants me, he accepted me and still loves me. And I love him too because of that. I wonder why he said before he is not interested in children but he asked “how’s angel now” everyday. He called Kianne my daughter Angel. Until he admitted that his uncle had a problem on having a baby and he is afraid that he might be also like his Uncle. To confirm it, he went to the Doctor for check up and found out that he has a little problem . Knowing these I am still inlove with him and love him more. I know the world has a high technology now and his problem will be solve. We can have many children in the right time.
He was living in Cornwall, Falmouth UK and I am here in Philippines thousand miles away from him. I never lose my hope in waiting for him everyday, instead I am excited and inspire to wake up early in the morning and hope one day i will wake up with him. He is part me of me, my dreams, my hope, my ambition and my youth. Distance cannot, and will not hurt a bond between two people that is based on mutual respect, trust, commitment, and love.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. This my favorite verse in the bible. But sometimes I insist “My plan” and neglect the best plan that God prepares for me. Looking back to the past I have I admire myself because I did it. As of now i am happy beyond the problems I encountered and know why all of these things happen to me. Every thing happens with a purpose.
I admit Richard was my 3rd boyfriend but i want Richard to be my forever. Despite for the love and pain I had before I am LOVE STRUCK now and I want to try ONE MORE TIME.
